I remember the day I got my first period. No one had ever talked to me about it—not my mum, not my older sister, not anyone. Everything about periods felt hush-hush, like some secret club I hadn’t been initiated into yet. So when I saw blood, my first thought? I had drunk too much Ribena (that deep red delicious blackcurrant juice that nan’s fridge was always stocked with!). To this day, I still chuckle whenever I pass a bottle in the supermarket.
Looking back, I wish someone had of just sat me down and told me what to expect—what was normal, what wasn’t, and most importantly that my body wasn’t doing something wrong or scary. And that’s exactly why this guide exists: to help you, as a parent, give your child the information, reassurance, and support they need before their first period arrives.
Why This Conversation Matters
Many of us grew up with little to no discussion about periods, and for some, it was even wrapped in shame or secrecy. But times have changed (thank goodness!), and we now know how important it is for kids to feel prepared, confident, and supported when their body starts changing. Without open conversations, tweens can feel confused, anxious, or even frightened when they first experience bleeding. Some may think something is wrong, like I did. Others might feel embarrassed or ashamed because they’ve picked up on societal taboos around menstruation. The good news? You have the power to change that narrative for your child.
How to Talk About Periods Without Shame
For generations periods have been treated as something to keep hidden, but this secrecy can lead to feelings of embarrassment, confusion, or even shame. It’s time to change that!
Break the Cycle of Secrecy
Encourage open and honest conversations about menstruation in your household. Avoid whispering about it or acting as if it’s something to be hidden. Instead, talk about it in the same way you would discuss any other natural bodily function. When kids see that periods aren’t treated as something shameful, they’re more likely to feel comfortable asking questions and seeking support.
Use Positive, Empowering Language
The way we talk about periods matters. Phrases like “the curse” or “that time of the month” reinforce the idea that menstruation is something negative. Instead, use language that normalises and celebrates periods as a sign of health and growth. In our household we call it our “Inner Seasons” but you can come up with something unique and fun for your family. Remind your child that having a period is a powerful sign of maturity, strength, and good health—a natural process that connects them to the rhythm of life. Using positive, affirming language helps shape the way they perceive their period for the years to come.
Address Cultural and Generational Taboos
If you grew up in an environment where periods weren’t discussed, it might feel uncomfortable to change that narrative with your own child. But breaking the stigma is one of the best ways to empower the next generation. If you don’t feel confident discussing periods, consider learning together by reading books or watching educational videos.
Encourage Open Dialogue
Let your child know they can come to you with any questions or concerns about their body, without fear of judgement. If they seem hesitant to talk, try bringing up the topic in a casual way—like while shopping for supplies or watching a relevant TV show. The goal is to make discussions about periods as normal as any other health-related conversation.
Signs Their First Period Might Be Coming
It’s helpful to recognise the early signs that your child’s first period may be approaching. Here’s what to look out for:
- Breast development – This typically starts 1–2 years before menstruation begins.
- Growth spurts – A noticeable increase in height is a key sign that puberty is in full swing.
- Vaginal discharge – A clear or white discharge is the body’s way of preparing for menstruation and can begin months before the first period.
- Mood changes – Hormonal shifts can lead to heightened emotions, increased sensitivity, and occasional mood swings.
These changes can feel overwhelming for tweens, so it’s important to normalize them. Reassure your child that these developments are a natural and healthy part of growing up and that everyone experiences them in their own time.
What to Keep in a ‘Period Kit’
Preparing a small period kit can help your child feel confident and ready when their period starts. Here’s what to include:
- Pads, tampons, or period underwear – Let your child choose what feels most comfortable.
- Spare underwear – Just in case of leaks.
- Wipes – For freshness and hygiene.
- A small zippered pouch – To keep everything discreet and easy to carry.
- A note of encouragement – A small, uplifting message from you to remind them they’re supported.
Having a kit in their school bag means they’ll never be caught off guard.
A Note on tampons
Tampons may contain a variety of chemicals, including synthetic pesticides, herbicides, bleaches, and fragrances. Cotton, the primary material in most tampons is often conventionally grown using pesticides and fertilisers which can leave residues in the tampons. Most tampons are bleached with chlorine or other chemicals to achieve a bright white colour, which can lead to the formation of dioxins—a group of harmful chemical byproducts linked to cancer and reproductive health issues. Some tampons also contain synthetic fragrances or dyes, which may irritate sensitive skin or disrupt the natural pH balance of the vagina. Organic tampons are crafted from cotton grown without synthetic pesticides, fertilizers, or dyes, offering a cleaner, chemical-free option that can be gentler on sensitive skin and help maintain a healthier vaginal environment. Choosing organic not only reduces exposure to potentially irritating substances but also aligns with a more natural and eco-friendly approach to menstrual care.
Toxic shock syndrome (TSS) is a rare but serious condition that can occur when tampons are left in for too long, creating an environment where certain bacteria can thrive and produce toxins. While TSS remains uncommon, proper hygiene and regular changing of tampons are essential to minimize the risk.
What’s Happening in Their Body and Brain?
Puberty is a time of massive changes—not just physically, but emotionally and neurologically too. Here’s what’s happening under the surface:
Brain Development
During puberty, the brain is undergoing major reconstruction. The prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for reasoning, decision-making, and impulse control—is still developing, which means emotional regulation isn’t always easy. Meanwhile, the limbic system (which processes emotions) is highly active. This is why tweens may experience heightened emotions, mood swings, and sensitivity to social interactions.
At the same time, hormones like oestrogen and progesterone are influencing neurotransmitters in the brain affecting mood, energy, and even sleep patterns. The fluctuation of serotonin and dopamine can cause emotional highs and lows, which explains why your tween might be laughing one minute and frustrated or crying the next. Understanding that these changes are biologically driven (and not just “being dramatic”) can help you approach your child with more patience and empathy.
Hormonal Shifts and Physical Development
Puberty kickstarts a cascade of hormonal changes, preparing the body for menstruation. Oestrogen plays a key role in breast development, body shape changes, and the thickening of the uterine lining, while progesterone helps regulate cycles and prepares the body for potential pregnancy later in life. These hormonal surges can cause changes in appetite, energy levels, and emotional well-being.
At the same time, the hypothalamus signals the pituitary gland to release follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH) and luteinizing hormone (LH). These two hormones tell the ovaries to begin producing oestrogen and progesterone, which are responsible for the menstrual cycle. The first period (menarche) usually occurs about two years after breast development begins, typically between the ages of 9 and 16.
Growth Spurts and Body Changes
One of the first signs of puberty is a growth spurt. The long bones in the arms and legs grow rapidly, often making kids feel a little clumsy as they adjust to their changing body proportions. The spine elongates, shoulders widen, and hips begin to take on a more defined shape.
Another change is the development of body fat distribution. As oestrogen levels rise, fat begins to accumulate in areas like the hips, thighs, and breasts, creating the curvier body shape that many girls will develop. This is completely normal and part of the body’s way of preparing for future reproductive health.
The skin also undergoes changes due to an increase in sebum (oil) production. This can lead to acne, which is why skincare routines may need to be adjusted. The sweat glands become more active too, meaning your child may start noticing stronger body odour and need to use deodorant regularly.
The Role of the Menstrual Cycle
The menstrual cycle is not just about periods. It’s a complex, hormone-driven process that affects the entire body. Each cycle, an egg matures in the ovaries in response to rising FSH and LH levels. If the egg isn’t fertilised, oestrogen and progesterone levels drop, triggering the shedding of the uterine lining, which we recognise as a period.
Beyond reproduction, these hormones influence metabolism, brain function, and even the immune system. Oestrogen has protective effects on bones and the cardiovascular system, while progesterone has calming effects on the nervous system. This is why changes in the menstrual cycle can sometimes impact mood, sleep, and energy levels.
Understanding these changes can help you better support your child, reassuring them that what they’re experiencing is normal and a sign of healthy development.
How Naturopathy Can Help
Herbal Medicine
Herbal medicine has been traditionally used to support hormonal balance, ease period discomfort, and regulate cycles. Many plants contain natural compounds that help the body adjust to hormonal fluctuations, promote circulation, and support the nervous system. By working with the body’s natural rhythms, herbal remedies can gently encourage balance and reduce common menstrual symptoms like cramps, bloating, and mood changes.
Nutritional Support
Nutrition plays a pivotal role in shaping the menstrual experience by influencing hormone regulation, energy levels, and even inflammation throughout the cycle. A balanced diet not only supports overall health but can also ease common menstrual symptoms, making periods more manageable. For instance, incorporating healthy fats—such as those found in avocados, nuts, and seeds—can bolster hormone production and help maintain a balanced hormonal profile. Iron-rich foods like leafy greens, lentils, and lean meats are essential to replenish the iron lost during menstruation, thereby reducing fatigue and preventing anaemia. Anti-inflammatory foods such as berries, turmeric, and salmon can help mitigate cramps and reduce systemic inflammation. A nutrient-dense diet will help you provide your child’s body with the tools it needs to handle the physical and emotional fluctuations of the menstrual cycle, ultimately supporting a smoother, more comfortable period while enhancing overall well-being.
Stress Management
Puberty and periods can be stressful, and stress can, in turn, affect menstrual health. Techniques such as deep breathing, mindfulness, and yoga can help regulate cortisol (the stress hormone), improving overall well-being. Encouraging your child to take moments of rest, engage in gentle movement, and find activities they enjoy can support both their mental and physical health.
If your child struggles with severe cramps, heavy bleeding, or irregular cycles, seeing a naturopath can be a great way to support their well-being naturally. Naturopathy focuses on addressing the root cause rather than just managing symptoms, making it an excellent complementary approach to traditional medical care.
What’s the gut got to do with it?
Emerging research highlights a fascinating connection between gut health and menstrual cycles. The gut microbiome (a complex community of bacteria that lives in the body) plays a vital role in regulating estrogen. A balanced gut helps ensure that estrogen is metabolised effectively, contributing to more stable hormone levels throughout the cycle. An imbalance in gut bacteria can disrupt estrogen metabolism, potentially leading to irregular periods and heightened menstrual symptoms such as severe cramps and mood swings.
When to Seek Medical Advice
While periods can vary from person to person, some signs indicate it’s time to see a doctor:
- Extremely heavy bleeding that soaks through pads or tampons in under two hours.
- Severe pain that disrupts daily life and isn’t relieved by typical pain management.
- Periods that last longer than seven days.
- Missing periods for several months after they’ve started.
- Symptoms that significantly affect mood, energy, or overall well-being.
If your child is experiencing any of these, advocate for their health by seeking professional advice and ensuring their concerns are taken seriously.
A Special Section for Dads
We know that many dads want to be supportive but aren’t sure how to approach the topic of periods. Here’s how you can help without feeling awkward or making your daughter uncomfortable:
- Listen and Normalize: Let her know that periods are a normal part of life. If she brings it up, respond with kindness and curiosity, not discomfort.
- Be Prepared: If you do the grocery shopping, learn what products she prefers so she never has to stress about running out.
- Encourage and Empower: A simple “Hey, I know this stuff can be tricky, but you’ve got this” can go a long way.
- Be the Backup Plan: If she ever needs supplies or a change of clothes while out, be the parent who’s ready to help without making a big deal out of it. Your support, even in small ways, helps your daughter feel more confident and at ease with her changing body.
Final Thoughts:
If you grew up in an era where periods were whispered about and hidden away, it can feel unfamiliar (or even awkward) to have open conversations about it now. But by giving your child knowledge and reassurance, you’re helping them feel confident, empowered, and prepared. One day, they’ll look back and thank you for making it easier for them, they won’t have to freak out like I did and worry that they had too much Ribena to drink!
There’s also a blog post designed just for tweens to teach them all about what they can expect in a way that’s engaging and easy to understand.
Much love,
Sarah
Sarah is a Naturopath working at The Healthy Hormone Naturopath. Her absolute passion is kids and teen health in addition to hormone health. You can book an appointment with Sarah here or reach out on hello@thehealthhotmonenat.com.au.
Follow The Healthy Hormone Naturopath on Facebook and Instagram for more great health info!